self-improvement habits change gratitude shame: Why wait until January to make changes in your life?: The New Year is right around the corner. This is the time of year when we traditionally look at our lives and make grand resolutions for change. Dec-19-2019

Why wait until January to make changes in your life?

The New Year is right around the corner. This is the time of year when we traditionally look at our lives and make grand resolutions for change.

  • Change life-long habits.
  • Eat healthier.
  • Lose weight.
  • Get in shape.
  • Make new friends.
  • Change the world.

If you’re like me, most of those grand dreams get left by the wayside of our life paths far too quickly... and the abandoning of those resolutions often leads to guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy. This year, let’s try something new, and make some real change in our lives.

My first suggestion: let’s not make resolutions we know we can’t or won’t keep. Grandiose ideas, like losing a ton of weight or achieving financial freedom, may be best left for storybooks and fairy tales. Instead, think of a concise element of your life that’s been bugging you, and take some time to think through your frustration. Examples include increasing gratitude, improving confidence, or just even smiling more. Concepts like being a better partner or parent are larger than we want to address right now... and may be improved by the basic changes we make.

As part of my choice to improve gratitude, I write a few words in my gratitude journal every morning. I’ve found my entire day is better when I put a few of those items I’m thankful for and which make my life better down on paper at the beginning of my day. This daily practice required a concerted effort for the first week or two, and now has become one of my morning habits like brushing my teeth.

I find my day goes better when I write in my journal. This positive feedback helps me to continue writing— and want to continue writing!— which helps me continue writing, and my days get better...

Whatever you choose to improve or change, make it an integral part of your life. Gratitude can begin with something as simple as saying “thank you” more often and more regularly. Nothing as major or earthshaking as daily journaling. Just simple, basic changes. Don’t wait until January 1st to begin. Once you’ve identified the improvement, start right here and now.

Then be patient with yourself as you reshape your life.



marriage counseling and sex therapy will improve your relationship

Chris Wilhoite MA, CST, C-PST Marriage, Relationship, and Certified Sex Therapist

Founder of Littleton Couple’s Counseling. Chris enjoys being in nature, hiking, paddle boarding, and cooking.

https://creativecontinuum.biz


Questions Answered At a Glance

Discover what makes therapy work

What makes sex therapy different from “normal” therapy?

Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses specifically on communication, relationships, intimacy, and sex. We often discuss low libido, desire discrepancy, painful intercourse, non-traditional relationships, orgasm difficulties, and sexual preferences.

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps people deal with sexual problems and improve their sexual health and well-being. It’s important because we’re all sexual beings, and our mental health can affect our sexual desire and pleasure. Sex therapy can help people talk about uncomfortable things about sex, intimacy, and communication, but it’s important to remember that many sexual health problems could be solved if people talked openly about sex and their experiences.

Are you comfortable talking about ethical non-monagomy (ENM)?

Yes. Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is a relationship style that focuses on honesty, openness, and mutual agreement when it comes to having multiple romantic or sexual partners. Whether you’re just starting to think about this idea or have been curious for a while, ethical non-monogamy can be a really liberating way to love and connect. But it’s important to know that this lifestyle might not be right for everyone. That’s totally okay. The real question is, does ENM fit with your values and emotional needs?

Can you help with struggles with sex and religion?

You might be confused about why feelings about sex are so tough when you believe “God made us as we are.” This struggle and doubt can make you feel even more ashamed and alone from your partner. You might even wonder if you’re going through religious sexual trauma, even though you were never physically abused in the church. This unwanted religious sexual dysfunction can strain your intimate relationships, and it might make the pain, guilt, and shame you’ve been carrying since you were a kid even worse. We can help.

Are our sexual wants normal?

It can be tough to figure out what’s “normal” when it comes to sex, because everyone’s different. Instead of trying to fit in with what others think is “normal,” it’s more important to listen to your own body and mind. Think about what makes you feel good and what you’ve been wanting lately. Comparing yourself to others or to porn can make you feel bad about yourself, but if you’re struggling with your sexual identity, know that you’re not alone.

My partner and I have mismatched desire. Are we normal?

A common concern is the struggle with low libido or decreased arousal. Many people experience fluctuations in their sexual desire—often due to medical conditions, stress, or other underlying factors. If your current arousal levels differ significantly from the past or from your partner, discussing it with one of our certified psychosexual therapists can help alleviate anxiety and provide guidance on how to address the issue.

How do I know when it’s time to talk to someone about my sexual issues?

If you’ve been looking for info about sex therapy and common sexual concerns, you’ve already taken a huge step towards acknowledging your worries. If your concerns keep you up a night, talking to a sex therapist could give you some clarity and help you find solutions.