sex_autism autism change communication growth relationships shame self-improvement sex vlogs: Sex & Autism 7: Likes & dislikes: We all have things we like and dislike: foods, feels, activities, and media to name just a few. Most of us can easily handle changes to our expectations of what’s for dinner tonight, what we wear, or where we go. For people on the autism spectrum, integrating what we like and dislike with the world around us can cause friction in our relationships with others. Noise, crowds, bright lights, strong tastes, smells, and being touched can be unbearable. Mar-04-2023

Sex & Autism 7: Likes & dislikes

Subscribe to our YouTube channel

 

We all have things we like and dislike: foods, feels, activities, and media to name just a few. Most of us can easily handle changes to our expectations of what’s for dinner tonight, what we wear, or where we go. For people on the autism spectrum, integrating what we like and dislike with the world around us can cause friction in our relationships with others. Noise, crowds, bright lights, strong tastes, smells, and being touched can be unbearable.

This makes restaurants, movies, airports, big stores, and shopping malls difficult. Some of us have preferred places we feel comfortable going to. With this in mind, dating can be difficult and relationships might take a bit of extra work.

Food

Everyone has food preferences and most of us find food comforting. Autism can bring food to a new level of likes and dislikes. On a personal note, I ate the same food for breakfast for over a decade and never saw anything wrong with it.

For instance, many children and adults on the spectrum are extremely sensitive to not just flavor, but also the color, smell, and texture of foods. Some of us can easily tell when flavorless dissolvable fiber is mixed into a beverage or even other foods. Many can also have strong preferences for a narrow selection of foods. Some even feel compelled to have certain foods in the same place on the plate or to use the same plate at each meal. On top of this, many individuals with autism have difficulty describing what they like or dislike about certain foods.

Clothing

If you’ve met someone on the autism spectrum, they may have had certain preferences around clothing. Tags, labels, seams, textures, and how the fabric sits on their body may all be non-negotiables with clothing.

Making things work

For people without autism, our likes and dislikes may seem extreme and uncompromising. It’s important to remember that to us, what may seem like trivial choices are some of the ways we find structure and safety in our lives. Being able to predict what is for dinner on Thursday can be a big deal to us.

So what’s this got to do with sex?

Take a moment and think about dating, relationships, sex, and sexuality. These all bring new experiences with sensations and communication.

To be in a relationship with a person with autism could have unexpected boundaries and rules around sights, sounds, textures, tastes, and activities. Keep the communication open and honest.



marriage counseling and sex therapy will improve your relationship

Tommy Underhill TTCD, ASDCS, ASDI Sex, Adult ADHD & Adult Autism

Tommy specializes in working with adults with ADHD and autism through a neurophysiological lens for social, relational, and sex issues. He oversees the long-term and strategic management for Littleton Couple’s Counseling. His entrepreneurship and small business management and operations span more than 30 years. Tommy is the Editor-in-Chief of the International Journal of Psychosexual Therapy. In his spare time, he runs a halfway house for wayward and abused orchids.

https://creativecontinuum.biz


Questions Answered At a Glance

Discover what makes therapy work

What makes sex therapy different from “normal” therapy?

Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses specifically on communication, relationships, intimacy, and sex. We often discuss low libido, desire discrepancy, painful intercourse, non-traditional relationships, orgasm difficulties, and sexual preferences.

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps people deal with sexual problems and improve their sexual health and well-being. It’s important because we’re all sexual beings, and our mental health can affect our sexual desire and pleasure. Sex therapy can help people talk about uncomfortable things about sex, intimacy, and communication, but it’s important to remember that many sexual health problems could be solved if people talked openly about sex and their experiences.

Are you comfortable talking about ethical non-monagomy (ENM)?

Yes. Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is a relationship style that focuses on honesty, openness, and mutual agreement when it comes to having multiple romantic or sexual partners. Whether you’re just starting to think about this idea or have been curious for a while, ethical non-monogamy can be a really liberating way to love and connect. But it’s important to know that this lifestyle might not be right for everyone. That’s totally okay. The real question is, does ENM fit with your values and emotional needs?

Can you help with struggles with sex and religion?

You might be confused about why feelings about sex are so tough when you believe “God made us as we are.” This struggle and doubt can make you feel even more ashamed and alone from your partner. You might even wonder if you’re going through religious sexual trauma, even though you were never physically abused in the church. This unwanted religious sexual dysfunction can strain your intimate relationships, and it might make the pain, guilt, and shame you’ve been carrying since you were a kid even worse. We can help.

Are our sexual wants normal?

It can be tough to figure out what’s “normal” when it comes to sex, because everyone’s different. Instead of trying to fit in with what others think is “normal,” it’s more important to listen to your own body and mind. Think about what makes you feel good and what you’ve been wanting lately. Comparing yourself to others or to porn can make you feel bad about yourself, but if you’re struggling with your sexual identity, know that you’re not alone.

My partner and I have mismatched desire. Are we normal?

A common concern is the struggle with low libido or decreased arousal. Many people experience fluctuations in their sexual desire—often due to medical conditions, stress, or other underlying factors. If your current arousal levels differ significantly from the past or from your partner, discussing it with one of our certified psychosexual therapists can help alleviate anxiety and provide guidance on how to address the issue.

How do I know when it’s time to talk to someone about my sexual issues?

If you’ve been looking for info about sex therapy and common sexual concerns, you’ve already taken a huge step towards acknowledging your worries. If your concerns keep you up a night, talking to a sex therapist could give you some clarity and help you find solutions.