ADHD communication change compassion connection self-reflection: Physiology of why ADHDers may work so well under pressure: I’ve had a project sitting on my desk for several months and I’ve been pecking at it. Usually I will open the file, take a look, edit a note or two, then close the file. After all, it’s not due for another month. Jun-27-2024

Physiology of why ADHDers may work so well under pressure

I’ve had a project sitting on my desk for several months and I’ve been pecking at it. Usually I will open the file, take a look, edit a note or two, then close the file. After all, it’s not due for another month. In clinical parlance, I find the project in the “not now” and it doesn’t exist. Three weeks from now it will slip into the “now” and it will rise in importance.

I teach there are four types of tasks: yellow, red, blue, and green. Yellow tasks are the ones you really don’t like doing and they deplete you emotionally and physically, and they’re not past due yet. Red tasks are yellows that are now past due (or almost past due). Blue tasks do not deplete you, they’re just not really exciting. Green tasks are the tasks you really enjoy doing that recharge your battery. These tasks are not necessarily stereotypically “fun” tasks. For example, a green task for my wife is folding the laundry. For me, it’s working in the garden.

As the yellow task becomes a red, there are no more “valid” excuses or time to side step the task. It’s crunch time.

So what is the neurophysiological basis for the “now” and “not now”?

There is a structure in the brain called the striatum. One of its tasks is to create anticipation of events in the future. When I show a neurotypical person a picture of a pot of gold, an fMRI of their striatum shows increased activity as it prods their brain to experience the future potential of having the pot of gold. An ADHD striatum sees the picture of the pot of gold and does not activate to the same level. The pot of gold exists in the “not now” and the striatum produces a lessened feeling of urgency or anticipation. Until something exists in “now”, it does not exist.

Another reason ADHDers may work well under pressure and tight deadlines may be due to an inverted default mode network. You can think of the default mode network as how someone perceives the status quo. Generally speaking, the default mode network is based on peace and security. ADHDers often live in a chaotic world. A person with an inverted default mode network finds security in chaos at is often experiences more “peace” in the chaos. Likewise, they may feel lost in calm environments where they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Next time the ADHDer in your life procrastinates a project until the last minute, be kind, support them where they are, and understand there is a physiological basis for their actions. It’s a steep uphill climb to change.



marriage counseling and sex therapy will improve your relationship

Tommy Underhill TTCD, ASDCS, ASDI Sex, Adult ADHD & Adult Autism

Tommy specializes in working with adults with ADHD and autism through a neurophysiological lens for social, relational, and sex issues. He oversees the long-term and strategic management for Littleton Couple’s Counseling. His entrepreneurship and small business management and operations span more than 30 years. Tommy is the Editor-in-Chief of the International Journal of Psychosexual Therapy. In his spare time, he runs a halfway house for wayward and abused orchids.

https://creativecontinuum.biz


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What makes sex therapy different from “normal” therapy?

Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses specifically on communication, relationships, intimacy, and sex. We often discuss low libido, desire discrepancy, painful intercourse, non-traditional relationships, orgasm difficulties, and sexual preferences.

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps people deal with sexual problems and improve their sexual health and well-being. It’s important because we’re all sexual beings, and our mental health can affect our sexual desire and pleasure. Sex therapy can help people talk about uncomfortable things about sex, intimacy, and communication, but it’s important to remember that many sexual health problems could be solved if people talked openly about sex and their experiences.

Are you comfortable talking about ethical non-monagomy (ENM)?

Yes. Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is a relationship style that focuses on honesty, openness, and mutual agreement when it comes to having multiple romantic or sexual partners. Whether you’re just starting to think about this idea or have been curious for a while, ethical non-monogamy can be a really liberating way to love and connect. But it’s important to know that this lifestyle might not be right for everyone. That’s totally okay. The real question is, does ENM fit with your values and emotional needs?

Can you help with struggles with sex and religion?

You might be confused about why feelings about sex are so tough when you believe “God made us as we are.” This struggle and doubt can make you feel even more ashamed and alone from your partner. You might even wonder if you’re going through religious sexual trauma, even though you were never physically abused in the church. This unwanted religious sexual dysfunction can strain your intimate relationships, and it might make the pain, guilt, and shame you’ve been carrying since you were a kid even worse. We can help.

Are our sexual wants normal?

It can be tough to figure out what’s “normal” when it comes to sex, because everyone’s different. Instead of trying to fit in with what others think is “normal,” it’s more important to listen to your own body and mind. Think about what makes you feel good and what you’ve been wanting lately. Comparing yourself to others or to porn can make you feel bad about yourself, but if you’re struggling with your sexual identity, know that you’re not alone.

My partner and I have mismatched desire. Are we normal?

A common concern is the struggle with low libido or decreased arousal. Many people experience fluctuations in their sexual desire—often due to medical conditions, stress, or other underlying factors. If your current arousal levels differ significantly from the past or from your partner, discussing it with one of our certified psychosexual therapists can help alleviate anxiety and provide guidance on how to address the issue.

How do I know when it’s time to talk to someone about my sexual issues?

If you’ve been looking for info about sex therapy and common sexual concerns, you’ve already taken a huge step towards acknowledging your worries. If your concerns keep you up a night, talking to a sex therapist could give you some clarity and help you find solutions.