self-improvement compassion growth self-reflection: The necessity of self care: When we are called to do hard things, we as human beings rarely take the time to care for our own selves. We convince ourselves that taking time to care for our own needs is selfish… and while this may be true, it is only partly true. Jun-09-2022

The necessity of self care

When we are called to do hard things, we as human beings rarely take the time to care for our own selves. We convince ourselves that taking time to care for our own needs is selfish… and while this may be true, it is only partly true.

When we are really caring for ourselves— meaning showing concern for oneself— it is completely untrue that it demonstrates a lack of concern for others. When we express concern for ourselves, nourish our needs, and set boundaries for ourselves, if is far from selfish.

As TJ likes to say, “You’re no good to me dead. Take the time to get back in healthy place.”

Self care is important to carrying on in these trying times. It seems quite unreasonable to ask our cars to safely and reliably take us where we need to be if there is no gas in the tank, the oil is never changed, or the brake pads are completely worn. Why do we expect our own bodies and minds to run on no gas or maintenance? Self care is essential to our being the best we can possibly be.

According a study by the International Center for Self Care Research, health care professionals invest only 10 hours a year on self-care. That equates to less than .001% of their time, and we count on them to always be at the top of their game!

The benefits of self care are many: mental acuity, increased well-being, and reduced morbidity and mortality, to name just a few. Taking time for self care is not a luxury— it is a necessity! We need to fill our emotional, social, and physical tanks. It is akin to regular maintenance and putting gas in our cars— with benefits far outreaching the time and energy investments.

Self care and rest are not idleness. To find oneself lying on the grass under a tree on a summer’s day and listening to the songs of birds and nature, the trickle and splash of water from a nearby stream, and watching the clouds through a canopy of trees as they dance effortlessly across the setting sun’s summer sky is by no means selfish or a waste of time.

It is indeed the balm of the soul and the reinvigorating of one’s being. I think I will go lie under a tree. What will you do today to take care of yourself?

Join me as I wander to where the internet is weak to build and strengthen connection, both with ourselves and with those around us.



marriage counseling and sex therapy will improve your relationship

Chris Wilhoite MA, CST, C-PST Marriage, Relationship, and Certified Sex Therapist

Founder of Littleton Couple’s Counseling. Chris enjoys being in nature, hiking, paddle boarding, and cooking.

https://creativecontinuum.biz


Questions Answered At a Glance

Discover what makes therapy work

What makes sex therapy different from “normal” therapy?

Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses specifically on communication, relationships, intimacy, and sex. We often discuss low libido, desire discrepancy, painful intercourse, non-traditional relationships, orgasm difficulties, and sexual preferences.

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps people deal with sexual problems and improve their sexual health and well-being. It’s important because we’re all sexual beings, and our mental health can affect our sexual desire and pleasure. Sex therapy can help people talk about uncomfortable things about sex, intimacy, and communication, but it’s important to remember that many sexual health problems could be solved if people talked openly about sex and their experiences.

Are you comfortable talking about ethical non-monagomy (ENM)?

Yes. Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is a relationship style that focuses on honesty, openness, and mutual agreement when it comes to having multiple romantic or sexual partners. Whether you’re just starting to think about this idea or have been curious for a while, ethical non-monogamy can be a really liberating way to love and connect. But it’s important to know that this lifestyle might not be right for everyone. That’s totally okay. The real question is, does ENM fit with your values and emotional needs?

Can you help with struggles with sex and religion?

You might be confused about why feelings about sex are so tough when you believe “God made us as we are.” This struggle and doubt can make you feel even more ashamed and alone from your partner. You might even wonder if you’re going through religious sexual trauma, even though you were never physically abused in the church. This unwanted religious sexual dysfunction can strain your intimate relationships, and it might make the pain, guilt, and shame you’ve been carrying since you were a kid even worse. We can help.

Are our sexual wants normal?

It can be tough to figure out what’s “normal” when it comes to sex, because everyone’s different. Instead of trying to fit in with what others think is “normal,” it’s more important to listen to your own body and mind. Think about what makes you feel good and what you’ve been wanting lately. Comparing yourself to others or to porn can make you feel bad about yourself, but if you’re struggling with your sexual identity, know that you’re not alone.

My partner and I have mismatched desire. Are we normal?

A common concern is the struggle with low libido or decreased arousal. Many people experience fluctuations in their sexual desire—often due to medical conditions, stress, or other underlying factors. If your current arousal levels differ significantly from the past or from your partner, discussing it with one of our certified psychosexual therapists can help alleviate anxiety and provide guidance on how to address the issue.

How do I know when it’s time to talk to someone about my sexual issues?

If you’ve been looking for info about sex therapy and common sexual concerns, you’ve already taken a huge step towards acknowledging your worries. If your concerns keep you up a night, talking to a sex therapist could give you some clarity and help you find solutions.