April is National Autism Awareness Month

April is National Autism Awareness Month. I want to share a few thoughts to help neurotypical folks understand a bit more about us.

Autism consists of a wide spectrum of presentations from nonverbal to genius. Autism stereotypes abound and many people really don’t know much more about us. Some people hear autism and think Forrest Gump.

Autism isn’t a disorder we will grow out of. At best, we learn how to mask and live within your world. Most clinical services end for us at 18 and there are few clinicians who specialize in autism to support us as adults.

We are the butt of jokes and the heroes of movies. When you’ve met one person with autism, congratulations, you’ve met one person with autism.

These are some of the more common presentations of autism.

Social cues

Sometimes we look like assholes because we get frustrated at our inability to communicate the rich thoughts trapped beneath our surface.

Because we do not understand many social situations we may say the wrong thing at the wrong time. People who know me often exclaim “Oh, Tommy!” about things I say.

When we start a conversation with a request, a need, or a comment rather than a warm hello, it doesn’t mean that we don’t value you. We may not understand society’s conventions.

Communication

Sometimes, when it appears we are being obstinate, we just don’t understand what is asked of us and we may feel shame that we just don’t get it.

We get excited about our passions and can dominate a conversation. We might not understand how to share speaking time.

Expressing and understanding emotions

You may show a strong emotion on your face—happy, sad, angry, disgusted, thoughtful— and we don’t see it. Many of us struggle with reading emotions on people’s faces.

Sometimes when we look angry it is because we cannot express emotions well in facial expressions. We might not be able to name what we fell, only that we feel.

We might seem callus or uncaring when we can’t surmise what is going on in your mind; how you could be feeling; or that your beliefs, desires, intentions, or interest could be different than ours.

We might not be able to look you in the eye when we talk. We mean no disrespect.

Sensory

We can become overstimulated easily by loud noises, crowds, bright lights, strong smells. It’s ok to ask if we could move to a quieter spot. Imagine how overwhelming it can be for us to enter a busy grocery store, Best Buy, Costco, or Apple Store.

It’s not that we don’t want to talk to you or hear what you say when our attention seems somewhere else. We might be more comfortable wearing headphone, tapping our arms, or using our phone to distract us from sensory overload.

Structure

We live by patterns and routine because they bring structure into our lives. When Tuesday is pizza night and we don’t have pizza for dinner, our lives can feel like we are in free-fall or falling apart.

Sometimes, something as insignificant as the color or texture of food, or where it is on a plate, can throw us off.

Thinking

We don’t think the same way everyone else does. Watch Sherlock, The Good Doctor, the Amazing Attorney Woo, or Numb3rs for visual representations of some of our thought processes. We are not stupid. We might just not be able to express our thoughts in your language.

When you get to know us, people with autism can be the spice of your lives, a ray of humor, or the solution to a problem that you never expected to find. I invite you to get to know us as individuals who exist beyond the common stereotypes.

Please link back to this page and share it with the people you know and love.