autism compassion communication vlogs: April is National Autism Awareness Month: April is National Autism Awareness Month. I want to share a few thoughts to help neurotypical folks understand a bit more about us. 
Apr-01-2023

April is National Autism Awareness Month

Subscribe to our YouTube channel

 

April is National Autism Awareness Month. I want to share a few thoughts to help neurotypical folks understand a bit more about us.

Autism consists of a wide spectrum of presentations from nonverbal to genius. Autism stereotypes abound and many people really don’t know much more about us. Some people hear autism and think Forrest Gump.

Autism isn’t a disorder we will grow out of. At best, we learn how to mask and live within your world. Most clinical services end for us at 18 and there are few clinicians who specialize in autism to support us as adults.

We are the butt of jokes and the heroes of movies. When you’ve met one person with autism, congratulations, you’ve met one person with autism.

These are some of the more common presentations of autism.

Social cues

Sometimes we look like assholes because we get frustrated at our inability to communicate the rich thoughts trapped beneath our surface.

Because we do not understand many social situations we may say the wrong thing at the wrong time. People who know me often exclaim “Oh, Tommy!” about things I say.

When we start a conversation with a request, a need, or a comment rather than a warm hello, it doesn’t mean that we don’t value you. We may not understand society’s conventions.

Communication

Sometimes, when it appears we are being obstinate, we just don’t understand what is asked of us and we may feel shame that we just don’t get it.

We get excited about our passions and can dominate a conversation. We might not understand how to share speaking time.

Expressing and understanding emotions

You may show a strong emotion on your face—happy, sad, angry, disgusted, thoughtful— and we don’t see it. Many of us struggle with reading emotions on people’s faces.

Sometimes when we look angry it is because we cannot express emotions well in facial expressions. We might not be able to name what we fell, only that we feel.

We might seem callus or uncaring when we can’t surmise what is going on in your mind; how you could be feeling; or that your beliefs, desires, intentions, or interest could be different than ours.

We might not be able to look you in the eye when we talk. We mean no disrespect.

Sensory

We can become overstimulated easily by loud noises, crowds, bright lights, strong smells. It’s ok to ask if we could move to a quieter spot. Imagine how overwhelming it can be for us to enter a busy grocery store, Best Buy, Costco, or Apple Store.

It’s not that we don’t want to talk to you or hear what you say when our attention seems somewhere else. We might be more comfortable wearing headphone, tapping our arms, or using our phone to distract us from sensory overload.

Structure

We live by patterns and routine because they bring structure into our lives. When Tuesday is pizza night and we don’t have pizza for dinner, our lives can feel like we are in free-fall or falling apart.

Sometimes, something as insignificant as the color or texture of food, or where it is on a plate, can throw us off.

Thinking

We don’t think the same way everyone else does. Watch Sherlock, The Good Doctor, the Amazing Attorney Woo, or Numb3rs for visual representations of some of our thought processes. We are not stupid. We might just not be able to express our thoughts in your language.


When you get to know us, people with autism can be the spice of your lives, a ray of humor, or the solution to a problem that you never expected to find. I invite you to get to know us as individuals who exist beyond the common stereotypes.

Please link back to this page and share it with the people you know and love.



Tags for this Article

marriage counseling and sex therapy will improve your relationship

Tommy Underhill TTCD, ASDCS, ASDI Sex, Adult ADHD & Adult Autism

Tommy specializes in working with adults with ADHD and autism through a neurophysiological lens for social, relational, and sex issues. He oversees the long-term and strategic management for Littleton Couple’s Counseling. His entrepreneurship and small business management and operations span more than 30 years. Tommy is the Editor-in-Chief of the International Journal of Psychosexual Therapy. In his spare time, he runs a halfway house for wayward and abused orchids.

https://creativecontinuum.biz


Questions Answered At a Glance

Discover what makes therapy work

What makes sex therapy different from “normal” therapy?

Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses specifically on communication, relationships, intimacy, and sex. We often discuss low libido, desire discrepancy, painful intercourse, non-traditional relationships, orgasm difficulties, and sexual preferences.

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps people deal with sexual problems and improve their sexual health and well-being. It’s important because we’re all sexual beings, and our mental health can affect our sexual desire and pleasure. Sex therapy can help people talk about uncomfortable things about sex, intimacy, and communication, but it’s important to remember that many sexual health problems could be solved if people talked openly about sex and their experiences.

Are you comfortable talking about ethical non-monagomy (ENM)?

Yes. Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is a relationship style that focuses on honesty, openness, and mutual agreement when it comes to having multiple romantic or sexual partners. Whether you’re just starting to think about this idea or have been curious for a while, ethical non-monogamy can be a really liberating way to love and connect. But it’s important to know that this lifestyle might not be right for everyone. That’s totally okay. The real question is, does ENM fit with your values and emotional needs?

Can you help with struggles with sex and religion?

You might be confused about why feelings about sex are so tough when you believe “God made us as we are.” This struggle and doubt can make you feel even more ashamed and alone from your partner. You might even wonder if you’re going through religious sexual trauma, even though you were never physically abused in the church. This unwanted religious sexual dysfunction can strain your intimate relationships, and it might make the pain, guilt, and shame you’ve been carrying since you were a kid even worse. We can help.

Are our sexual wants normal?

It can be tough to figure out what’s “normal” when it comes to sex, because everyone’s different. Instead of trying to fit in with what others think is “normal,” it’s more important to listen to your own body and mind. Think about what makes you feel good and what you’ve been wanting lately. Comparing yourself to others or to porn can make you feel bad about yourself, but if you’re struggling with your sexual identity, know that you’re not alone.

My partner and I have mismatched desire. Are we normal?

A common concern is the struggle with low libido or decreased arousal. Many people experience fluctuations in their sexual desire—often due to medical conditions, stress, or other underlying factors. If your current arousal levels differ significantly from the past or from your partner, discussing it with one of our certified psychosexual therapists can help alleviate anxiety and provide guidance on how to address the issue.

How do I know when it’s time to talk to someone about my sexual issues?

If you’ve been looking for info about sex therapy and common sexual concerns, you’ve already taken a huge step towards acknowledging your worries. If your concerns keep you up a night, talking to a sex therapist could give you some clarity and help you find solutions.