sex_autism autism sex compassion mindset change growth satisfaction improvement self-esteem vlogs: Sex & Autism 11: Not tonight dear, I have a headache: No one argues that many autistics experience a variety of co-occurring neurological issues, and one of these may be an increased propensity for headaches. Making the best time for sex requires planning. May-13-2023

Sex & Autism 11: Not tonight dear, I have a headache

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No one argues that many autistics experience a variety of co-occurring neurological issues, and one of these may be an increased propensity for headaches.

A recent study focused on fraternal and identical twins where at least one had autism. Fun fact: autism is only about 80% inheritable. The other 20% comes from epigenetic factors.

If you or your partner experience what could be termed autistic headaches that stem from overstimulation, sex at the end of a long day might not happen as regularly as you might desire.

Time to take a more active planning role in your sex lives. Create a calendar for the week or month and sketch out repeating events such as work, school, grocery shopping, or game night. Examine your daily and weekly activities that often lead to headaches and include them on the calendar. Highlight or circle them in red.

Next, mark the times you and your partner can be together. Together time following headache inducting activities might not make for the best sexy time. Better to look for the spots on your calendar where the potential headache load is lower. Highlight them in green.

Get creative with your green highlighter! Sexy time doesn’t have to be at the end of the day when you’re both worn out. Consider morning sex after brushing your teeth or a quickie at lunch time.

Lights or sounds bother one of you? Close the blinds and put in ear plugs. You might not be able to control when you get a headache. You can have greater control scheduling when sex can be best. Keep in mind, just because you schedule time for sex does not mean that sex needs to be boring or repetitive. Let your actions be spontaneous!



marriage counseling and sex therapy will improve your relationship

Tommy Underhill TTCD, ASDCS, ASDI Sex, Adult ADHD & Adult Autism

Tommy specializes in working with adults with ADHD and autism through a neurophysiological lens for social, relational, and sex issues. He oversees the long-term and strategic management for Littleton Couple’s Counseling. His entrepreneurship and small business management and operations span more than 30 years. Tommy is the Editor-in-Chief of the International Journal of Psychosexual Therapy. In his spare time, he runs a halfway house for wayward and abused orchids.

https://creativecontinuum.biz


Questions Answered At a Glance

Discover what makes therapy work

What makes sex therapy different from “normal” therapy?

Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses specifically on communication, relationships, intimacy, and sex. We often discuss low libido, desire discrepancy, painful intercourse, non-traditional relationships, orgasm difficulties, and sexual preferences.

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps people deal with sexual problems and improve their sexual health and well-being. It’s important because we’re all sexual beings, and our mental health can affect our sexual desire and pleasure. Sex therapy can help people talk about uncomfortable things about sex, intimacy, and communication, but it’s important to remember that many sexual health problems could be solved if people talked openly about sex and their experiences.

Are you comfortable talking about ethical non-monagomy (ENM)?

Yes. Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is a relationship style that focuses on honesty, openness, and mutual agreement when it comes to having multiple romantic or sexual partners. Whether you’re just starting to think about this idea or have been curious for a while, ethical non-monogamy can be a really liberating way to love and connect. But it’s important to know that this lifestyle might not be right for everyone. That’s totally okay. The real question is, does ENM fit with your values and emotional needs?

Can you help with struggles with sex and religion?

You might be confused about why feelings about sex are so tough when you believe “God made us as we are.” This struggle and doubt can make you feel even more ashamed and alone from your partner. You might even wonder if you’re going through religious sexual trauma, even though you were never physically abused in the church. This unwanted religious sexual dysfunction can strain your intimate relationships, and it might make the pain, guilt, and shame you’ve been carrying since you were a kid even worse. We can help.

Are our sexual wants normal?

It can be tough to figure out what’s “normal” when it comes to sex, because everyone’s different. Instead of trying to fit in with what others think is “normal,” it’s more important to listen to your own body and mind. Think about what makes you feel good and what you’ve been wanting lately. Comparing yourself to others or to porn can make you feel bad about yourself, but if you’re struggling with your sexual identity, know that you’re not alone.

My partner and I have mismatched desire. Are we normal?

A common concern is the struggle with low libido or decreased arousal. Many people experience fluctuations in their sexual desire—often due to medical conditions, stress, or other underlying factors. If your current arousal levels differ significantly from the past or from your partner, discussing it with one of our certified psychosexual therapists can help alleviate anxiety and provide guidance on how to address the issue.

How do I know when it’s time to talk to someone about my sexual issues?

If you’ve been looking for info about sex therapy and common sexual concerns, you’ve already taken a huge step towards acknowledging your worries. If your concerns keep you up a night, talking to a sex therapist could give you some clarity and help you find solutions.