ADHD relationships change emotions vlogs: Adult ADHD and surviving long-term relationships: In regard to long-term relationships, folks with ADHD want the same things as neurotypical people: love, communication, safety, and fun. Sep-19-2022

Adult ADHD and surviving long-term relationships

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In regard to long-term relationships, folks with adult ADHD usually want the same things as neurotypical people: love, communication, safety, and fun. Many non-ADHD people are attracted to folks with adult ADHD because it can make that person spontaneous, exciting, adventurous, and willing to do interesting things during the dating experience. At this stage, most neurotypical people won’t experience all the “chronic negative side effects” of adult ADHD like forgetfulness, lateness, disorganization, or lack of follow through.

Adult ADHD loses its novelty

Once into a long-term relationship— and this can take months to years to fully show itself— many of the adult ADHD attributes that led to the couple falling in love can become problems in the shared resources of the relationship: money, time, and shared spaces.

Because of the neurochemistry and brain physiology involved with adult ADHD, no amount of positive thought, good intentions, hard work, or ignoring will make it go away. Yelling at a partner with ADHD will probably override their situation for a while, then the adult ADHD will slowly return to the forefront. This can lead to frustration, anger, and resentment as the adult ADHD partner resumes historical behaviors.

When one partner in a relationship has adult ADHD, the non-ADHD partner may experience anger and frustration with the their partner and the relationship. Ownership of one’s feelings and letting go of the false pretense that it is “the other partner’s fault” they feel this way is an important first step in rediscovering why the two if you fell in love and rebuilding the relationship.



marriage counseling and sex therapy will improve your relationship

Tommy Underhill TTCD, ASDCS, ASDI Sex, Adult ADHD & Adult Autism

Tommy specializes in working with adults with ADHD and autism through a neurophysiological lens for social, relational, and sex issues. He oversees the long-term and strategic management for Littleton Couple’s Counseling. His entrepreneurship and small business management and operations span more than 30 years. Tommy is the Editor-in-Chief of the International Journal of Psychosexual Therapy. In his spare time, he runs a halfway house for wayward and abused orchids.

https://creativecontinuum.biz


Questions Answered At a Glance

Discover what makes therapy work

What makes sex therapy different from “normal” therapy?

Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses specifically on communication, relationships, intimacy, and sex. We often discuss low libido, desire discrepancy, painful intercourse, non-traditional relationships, orgasm difficulties, and sexual preferences.

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps people deal with sexual problems and improve their sexual health and well-being. It’s important because we’re all sexual beings, and our mental health can affect our sexual desire and pleasure. Sex therapy can help people talk about uncomfortable things about sex, intimacy, and communication, but it’s important to remember that many sexual health problems could be solved if people talked openly about sex and their experiences.

Are you comfortable talking about ethical non-monagomy (ENM)?

Yes. Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is a relationship style that focuses on honesty, openness, and mutual agreement when it comes to having multiple romantic or sexual partners. Whether you’re just starting to think about this idea or have been curious for a while, ethical non-monogamy can be a really liberating way to love and connect. But it’s important to know that this lifestyle might not be right for everyone. That’s totally okay. The real question is, does ENM fit with your values and emotional needs?

Can you help with struggles with sex and religion?

You might be confused about why feelings about sex are so tough when you believe “God made us as we are.” This struggle and doubt can make you feel even more ashamed and alone from your partner. You might even wonder if you’re going through religious sexual trauma, even though you were never physically abused in the church. This unwanted religious sexual dysfunction can strain your intimate relationships, and it might make the pain, guilt, and shame you’ve been carrying since you were a kid even worse. We can help.

Are our sexual wants normal?

It can be tough to figure out what’s “normal” when it comes to sex, because everyone’s different. Instead of trying to fit in with what others think is “normal,” it’s more important to listen to your own body and mind. Think about what makes you feel good and what you’ve been wanting lately. Comparing yourself to others or to porn can make you feel bad about yourself, but if you’re struggling with your sexual identity, know that you’re not alone.

My partner and I have mismatched desire. Are we normal?

A common concern is the struggle with low libido or decreased arousal. Many people experience fluctuations in their sexual desire—often due to medical conditions, stress, or other underlying factors. If your current arousal levels differ significantly from the past or from your partner, discussing it with one of our certified psychosexual therapists can help alleviate anxiety and provide guidance on how to address the issue.

How do I know when it’s time to talk to someone about my sexual issues?

If you’ve been looking for info about sex therapy and common sexual concerns, you’ve already taken a huge step towards acknowledging your worries. If your concerns keep you up a night, talking to a sex therapist could give you some clarity and help you find solutions.